Artemis Fowl: The Elf's Revenge
by MisticWolf
Summary: Someone has reorganized the B'wa Kell & Root and Foaly have been kidnapped. What does this have to do with ancient spells & a mystical beast? Takes place about a year after the EC. Please R&R!
1. The Plan

OK, this is my first fanfic so I'm not sure how it will turn out as I'm not a great writer. Please review it. Most characters are going to be in the story even if they aren't in this chapter. Here goes...  
  
**DISCLAIMER:** None of the Artemis Fowl characters are mine, except Phel & Mucus so far.

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**Chapter 1: THE PLAN**  
  
_**Haven City, Lower Elements  
  
**_A solitary elf trudged down a dark alley next to Howler's Peak. His figure was shrouded in a long dark cape with a hood. He looked up and sighed before continuing to walk through Haven City. Lights flickered from the various shops and houses, brightening his path. He opted to duck into another dark alley. The smell of rotten fish and potatoes wafted under his nose, causing him to wrinkle it in disgust. No one bothered to check these old alleys anymore. He kept walking until he reached an opening to the sewers at which point he yanked the loose grate out and jumped into the gap.  
  
The smell in the sewers was just as bad as the alley if not worse. As he placed the bar back in it's grooves, a torch light bobbed towards him. He turned quickly but relaxed as he saw it was a big goblin.  
  
"Hello, Phel," grunted the goblin. "You haven't been here in months. I thought you'd forgotten about your friends."  
  
Phel pulled off his hood and gave a twisted smile. "Of course not, I've just been thinking about my brother's death a lot. Sorry Mucus."  
  
"Ah, well you're here now, so do you want a drink?"  
  
"That'd be great."  
  
Water sloshed all around as Phel and Mucus made their way down the sewers by the light of Mucus's torch.  
  
"I'm so glad you found us that hideout," said Mucus. "You're probably the only elf who would do such a good thing for us."  
  
A strange expression passed over Phel's face as he murmured, "No problem."  
  
The sewer tunnel extended near the end and the sounds of hundreds of goblins could be heard.  
  
They entered the chamber-like room to the sound of catcalling and hissing. The goblins all glared as Phel and Mucus entered but seeing who it was, returned to whatever they had been doing, namely betting how many tattoos could fit on one of their eyeballs.  
  
Mucus hopped behind the bartender's counter and filled a mug to the top with foamy fungus juice. He flung it onto the counter where it skidded to a halt before Phel, who had sat himself on one of the stools. Phel tipped back his and drained the mug.  
  
"Cheers, Mucus."  
  
Mucus filled another mug and flung it across the counter to Phel who drained it again. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. It was then that he had the idea to avenge his brother's death. He soon wondered why it hadn't come to him before. Probably the drinks, he reasoned.  
  
Phel stood up on the stool, swaying slightly and yelled, "Oi, B'wa Kell members. I need your help for a plan-"  
  
The volume inside the chamber remained the same. Oh no, thought Mucus, someone's had too much to drink.  
  
"-to quell the hated LEP!"  
  
The noise level suddenly plummeted and Phel had every, scaly, goblin eye on him.  
  
"Now listen carefully!"  
  
Phel exited the sewers an hour later with a cold kind of triumph. As he walked past the LEP Central building he glanced at it and smiled a true smile for the first time in months.  
  
"It's time to get the payback you deserve," he whispered in an icy voice as he drew the hood of his cloak back over his head and disappeared down a tunnel as the darkness fell.  
  
_**Operations Booth**_  
  
Foaly slept on in his specially modified swivel chair, his head resting on the large stack of secret LEP documents. He slept peacefully with no clue that chaos would go out to rule the Lower Elements the next day...

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So, what do you think? Please review so I know if I should write the next chapter soon. Some of the facts might be slightly altered, so sorry 'bout that and this is also a pretty short chapter. Thanx 4 taking the time to read my story =)


	2. Remembrance Dawns

A/N: Thanks to Farseer Tydraad & jadestar123 for reviewing. If people don't ask me 2 write another chappie then I won't, so please review. Sorry I took soo long to put this up but I've been away basically all week.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the Artemis Fowl characters, blah, blah, blah.

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**Remembrance Dawns**  
  
_**Fowl Manor**_  
  
_Artemis Fowl's Journal. Disk 2. Encrypted.  
_  
_I have been distracted from my masterminded works by my father who insisted on spending quality time with me. His new positive attitude is getting in the way of my plans to accumulate wealth from several large banks. I remembered the lens just a few weeks ago. Butler is currently out with his associate in Limerick but should be returning fairly soon. The culprits who put the lens in our eyes will be tracked down. Juliet is also absent as she has succeeded in gaining a place in the next wrestling tournament held in the US. I wished her luck but I doubt she needs it. I am currently left in Fowl Manor without a bodyguard but just to be safe, I updated all the security systems. Mother and father are also away, deciding to take a snow trip to Austria in celebration of my father's recovery. They begged me to come but I refused, saying I had other important matters at hand. This is the perfect time to plot my next lot of crimes. I feel weak sometimes when I awaken in the morning but it is only temporary. The dreams I have are most peculiar. They consist mainly of a range of words floating around in my head, images of carrots and dark tunnels. I feel they are memories hidden in the back of my mind and—_  
  
Artemis stopped typing his journal on his laptop. The doorbell was ringing. He was about to suggest Butler open the door but remembered his manservant was in Limerick, so he sighed deeply and strode across the Persian carpet, down the stairs and down to the door. The doorbell kept ringing and ringing. He opened the door.  
  
"All right, what do you wa--," he stopped mid-sentence as he looked across to the empty driveway. Nobody here, he thought and was about to close the door when there was a small "_ahem_". He looked down and saw a strange figure standing on the doormat. The figure was wearing a postman uniform and holding a small package. His face was shadowed by the brim of the cap.  
  
"Delivery for a Mr Artemis Fowl," he said, holding up the parcel.  
  
Artemis cautiously took it, saying, "Goodbye."

He was about to slam the door when the miniature postman said, "So how about a bite to eat. You could always whip up one of those sandwiches that you did last time."  
  
Artemis's heart nearly shut down then and there. "Excuse me?"  
  
He was stunned that a postman had asked to enter the house without an invitation and even more stunned that the being had asked him to make another sandwich. He couldn't even remember the last time he did make one.  
  
"Ahh, I see you don't remember yet. Just slip the disc into your laptop and you'll understand," with that, the postman strode into the lounge room and plonked down on a leather couch.  
  
Artemis stood in the doorway dumbstruck for the first time he could remember. "Do I know you?"  
  
The postman took off his cap and bag. "You might."  
  
Something in the back of Artemis's memory surfaced for a moment then disappeared. He looked down at the strange-shaped package in his hands and opened it, revealing a golden circular object.  
  
_**Lower Elements, Police Plaza**_  
  
Holly sighed as she sat herself down at her desk. It was just another boring day, sorting files and flying out to look for unshielded fairies and stuff like that.

The goblin/dwarf war had subsided for the time being and the goblins seemed to have all disappeared. She was restless because she was the kind of fairy who enjoyed a good bit of action. She was not the only one. Foaly had been whining about only being able to watch reruns of trial videos and boring Mud Men soap operas. Most of the other LEP members had just been dealing with the everyday minor problems in Haven City like burglaries and rechecking the tunnels to make sure there were no B'wa Kell members in them.

Some had decided to take a small vacation since they weren't needed. Trouble and Grub Kelp were out visiting their mother.  
  
She sighed again, why couldn't she take a break? There was something missing. The 'something' was where her constant adventure with Artemis and Mulch had been. Mulch had been released after they found the date on his arrest record was wrong and Holly hadn't seen him since.

No more wacky adventures now. That hadn't happened more then a year ago. Why couldn't she just forget it all? She started on the files but half way through them, decided to pay Foaly a visit instead.  
  
_**Operations Booth**_  
  
Foaly sat, focused on the screen of his computer. "Come on! Die alien scum!" He pressed the keys frantically. The booth's door slid open and Holly walked in. "Hi, Foaly. What you doing?"  
  
Foaly gave a start and quickly exited the human game he had been playing. "Nothing," he relaxed as he saw who it was. "Holly. It's only you. I thought it might've been Root again."  
  
Foaly, I'm bored." Holly picked up a blueprint that was sitting on a table. On it were various wing designs.  
  
Well, I'm not surprised. Julius has also been in here a lot, says he's checking on my progress. But you can tell that he's just trying to find something to do..._Hey_, put down those sketches. I'm trying to invent some new wings."  
  
"What, like Koboi's?" Holly wrinkled her nose.  
  
Foaly blushed and picked up a pair. "These are just prototype but they have good manoeuvring and speed capabilities."  
  
Holly took them from him and slipped them on. "Well, I'm going for a fly, tell Root."  
  
"You haven't got clearance though."  
  
Holly shrugged and exited. Foaly turned back to his monitor. He was about to open up the game again when there was a movement in the left hall camera. He enlargened the screen but it was gone. Just then, the door hissed opened again. Commander Julius Root strode in, bringing with him the smell of his foul cigar he was smoking.

"Civilian!" he barked. "Anything out of the normal detected on the sensors?"  
  
"No, Julius," sighed Foaly. "This is the sixth time you've asked me today."  
  
"What have I told you about calling me Julius," Root yelled, his face turning a lovely hue of magenta.  
  
Foaly was about to give a smart reply but was distracted by another movement in the right hall camera. He froze the screen but there was nothing.  
  
"By the way, have you seen Holly today?" asked Root.  
  
"Yeah, she was just here a second ago. She told me to tell you she was going for a fly," answered Foaly absentmindedly.  
  
Root's red face went up another shade. "_She did what?_ She doesn't have clearance. I'll go look for her."  
  
He strode towards the door.  
  
Foaly was busy trying to find what had appeared on the screen. Frowning, he ran a systems check.  
  
"Glitch found," said a computer generated voice.  
  
"D'arvit!" he swore, wildly tapping keys. How was that possible? He had rechecked all the databases just minutes ago.  
  
Root suddenly backed into his chair.  
  
"Julius, there's a glitch-- hey weren't you going out."  
  
"Foaly," mumbled Root.  
  
Foaly turned around a found that the booth's door was guarded by a large array of goblins. He stood, knocking over a bunch of electronic gadgets. Root stepped backwards next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the commander put a hand on his Tri-blaster.  
  
Suddenly, the goblins all hoisted up electric rifles. "Put your hands up."  
  
The goblin who had spoke, stepped forwards. He held a gun that was bubbling some kind of dangerous liquid. He took Root's blaster from it's holster. "Good. Now come with us. Someone wants to see you."

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Ooh, what will happen next time. Please read & review. This chapter is pretty long because I kept adding things but the next ones might be a bit shorter. Bye-Q! 


	3. Meeting of Old Friends

A/N: ...This is probably a shorter chapter then the last one 'cause I wanted to put it in before school starts again and before I drown in a tidal wave of homework.

Thank you C. D. Books for reviewing. Thank u so much for the threat & compliments.

Please read & review!  
  
**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any of the Artemis Fowl characters (How many times do I have to say this?)

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**Chapter 3: Meeting of Old Friends**  
  
_**Fowl Manor**_  
  
Artemis eyed the disk in his hand sceptically and then glanced at the strange individual on his sofa eating a large pickle, brussel sprout, salami, mushroom, cheese and mustard sandwich, complete with large amounts of ketchup which 'splurted' out over sofa's leather cover. Artemis winced at the thought of what his mother would say when she got back from her trip.  
  
The small being on the couch sighed as he saw the boy hadn't inserted the disk in his laptop. "Just put the disk in the drive for goodness sake!"  
  
"Are you positive that the disk doesn't contain any kind of virus?" Artemis asked for the fifth time. He had already established that the creature wasn't exactly human but then again maybe he was just dwarf sized and disfigured.  
  
He wasn't quite sure why he was allowing himself to be lured into following the stranger's requests. But there was something about him that reminded Artemis of someone he couldn't put his finger on.  
  
"Fine! If you won't, I will!" The stranger grabbed the golden disk from Artemis's hand with ease and slid it into the laptop.  
  
"No!" cried Artemis. "All my files and my new software are–"  
  
'_Upload Complete_' flashed on the screen. The creature reached the mouse to enter the loaded files but Artemis stopped him.  
  
"I think you've done quite enough damage already," he said coldly. "If there's anyone looking through those files, it'll be me."  
  
The strange being rolled his eyes and stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.  
  
Meanwhile, Artemis had just entered one of the various files. He read quickly through the document, his eyes widening with each sentence. Suddenly he closed off the file. Everything came back like wave of memories. 

Fairies, LEP, Ritual, The Book, Tara, Foaly, Root, Holly and– he glanced at the stranger on his couch and said drily, "I'm pleased to see you well, Mulch Diggums."  
  
Mulch grinned at him from the sofa. "You too, Fowl."  
  
_**Somewhere in Ireland**_  
  
Holly sighed happily. The scenery and fresh air was restoring her energy. She hadn't been out to fly in ages. This is so much better then a day in the office, she thought blissfully.

The new wings manufactured by Foaly were really first-class. The manoeuvrability and speed were really something. They beat the DoubleDex series in both aspects and were compactable as she had found out earlier.

Skimming the water of the Channel, Holly saw the dolphins jump up to greet her again. This time there were two new born babies who stuck close to their mothers. Her happy thoughts vanished when she thought of what Root would say when she got back to Police Plaza. She shrugged off the guilt and swooped across the low countryside.

Even if she hadn't been shielded, which she was, Holly doubted that any Mud People would care to glance up into the sky now that it was covered in a in a blanket of green-grey smoke from the new factory nearby. She frowned. How was it possible that Mud Men could cause more damage to the environment then they already had was beyond her. Captain Short sped away quickly to avoid inhaling the pollution.

As she sped forwards, the unmistakable figure of Fowl Manor loomed ahead and Holly felt a pang of remembrance of the adventures she had had with the residents in it. Suddenly she just had to check in on Artemis. She hovered near a window and peered inside.  
  
_**Fowl Manor**_  
  
Two people were bent over a laptop, talking together. Holly recognised Artemis at once, his dark hair and pale complexion gave it away. Even though he didn't look as pale as he did a year ago. The second individual was familiar. Holly looked down and saw he had a bum flap. Mulch?

So this is what he's been keeping low to do for at least a year. That meant that Artemis's memory had been restored! Holly was quickly on the radio to Foaly .

"Foaly, Mulch had just triggered a total recall on Fowl," she yelled, panic in her voice.  
  
There was a shot of static but the centaur's voice didn't come.  
  
"Foaly, are you there? Hello, Foaly?"  
  
The static crackled through her ears sending cold waves down her back. Something had happened.  
  
She was too busy to notice that Artemis had opened the windows and detected the slight haze. "Hello, Captain Short."  
  
Holly jumped and turned around to be face-to-face with Artemis's vampire grin. Seeing who it was, she unshielded.  
  
"So you remember me, Mud Boy."

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So there's the 3rd chappie. I'll try to put in the 4th as soon as possible. For now...Bye! =)


	4. Through the Sewers

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't been putting up a chapter on FanFic, but I had heaps tests and stuff at school and I had writer's block, so I couldn't think of any good ideas.

But it's all gone now! So here's the newest chappie!

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Artemis Fowl characters (as much as I wish I did)_**

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**Chapter 4: Through the Sewers**

_**Limerick**_

Butler strode down the stairs of the luxurious hotel. He had been booked in for quite a while. He would have used the lifts, but they were "under repair". He wheezed slightly and stopped to catch his breath. These difficulties were not new to him as he had experienced it often. It was as if he had grown old in a day.

Butler grinned to himself. Like _that_ was possible.

He made his way down to the bottom of the staircase and tipped his cap as he walked past Gerald at the front desk before heading out of the foyer.

This morning he had to make sure his contact had finished examining the lens, he couldn't leave Artemis by himself in Fowl Manor any longer.

If only he knew Artemis had the company of a few old friends back at the mansion.

_**Fowl Mansion**_

After a brief conversation, Artemis, Mulch and Holly moved into the dining room. Holly was partially shocked at what Mulch had done but also partially relieved by the fact that Artemis could help with the current problem she faced. He seemed slightly reluctant to hear about it, but she had convinced him just to listen to what she had to say.

"I still can't believe you were able to lay low for a whole year!" Captain Short exclaimed.

"A year and a month," replied Mulch. "Isn't this the part where you cuff me?"

"You don't know how tempting it is. I keep fingering the handcuffs but I ...,"she incomprehensibly mumbled the last words.

"What?" said Artemis and Mulch together.

Holly mumbled the words again.

"_What_?!"

"_I said, I need your help!"_ Holly yelled.

"No need to get bigheaded," she added as she saw them grin at one another.

I wouldn't be asking for this, but I think there's something going on at—"

"Bip-Captain Short, this is Officer Tensair. Are you there?"

The low crackly voice emanated over the speakers of her com set.

She fished it out and replied, "Yes, what's the situation?"

"We have possible acts of hostility in Haven City," came the reply. "We can't receive a reply from the Operations Booth. The systems are going crazy, they've sensed some kind of strange magic signals coming from everywhere but we can't see anything."

Fear had trickled into the officer's voice even though he seemed to be trying to keep calm.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," responded Holly, worriedly. She terminated the link.

"Well?"

She turned to see Artemis and Mulch's faces watching her expectedly.

"There's something going on underground but no one knows what it really is. Before you found me on the windowsill, I saw Diggums and tried to contact Foaly but I couldn't establish a link."

Artemis opened his mouth.

"No, it wouldn't have been magma flares because Foaly found a way of making sure they don't affect communications."

Artemis closed his mouth, annoyed that Holly had ruined his deduction.

"I assume this is what you wanted help with," said Mulch dryly, emptying a vase of flowers into his gigantic, gaping mouth.

Artemis winced. "Those were a present from Juliet," he said coldly.

"By the way, where is the karate kid?" added Mulch.

"Juliet? She's going into a wrestling tournament in America."

Holly interrupted. "If you've finished your little conversation, we'd better get going. Haven City is in big trouble."

"Yeah, whatever," replied Mulch, easing himself out of the chair.

Artemis left a message for Butler in case he came home while they were gone. He secured the house and then the three of them stepped outside.

The Bentley stood in the garage. Butler had taken the private jet instead. Alongside it stood a sleek black Porsche.

"Well, what are we waiting for," said Holly, glad that Artemis had something other than the boring Bentley.

Holly and Mulch stepped forwards to get into the car, but stopped when they noticed Artemis hadn't moved. He looked apprehensive and nervous. He gazed at the car and tugged at the collar of his designer shirt and straightening his tie.

He opened his mouth.

Once again, Holly beat him to it. "This is the part where confess something to us, right?"

Artemis nodded warily.

Mulch sighed. "What is it Mud Boy? I'm dying for a bit of action."

"I-I," stuttered Artemis. "I can't drive it."

"Let me get this right. You bought a sweet new vehicle...but you don't know how the drive it, because you're under-aged, meaning you don't have a license?"

Artemis nodded.

Mulch brought a hand up to his forehead while Holly said impatiently, "Well you're going to have to drive due to these urgent times. We don't really want Mulch driving, if you can remember last time."

A memory passed through Artemis's head.

"_Shouldn't you untie that foot in case you need to use it?" asked Juliet._

"_Brakes?" laughed Mulch. "Why would I use the breaks? I'm not doing my driving test here."_

_In the back of the van, Artemis and Holly simultaneously reached for their seat belts._

Artemis grimaced at the remembrance. "OK, I'll _try_ to drive."

Holly awkwardly patted his shoulder, something she still wasn't sure how'd he'd react too. She was glad that she had Artemis and Mulch with her to help her accomplish her mission. No matter what anyone said, Artemis did have something good in him that was beginning to show at long last.

The three companions got into the car.

"Remember, you are a genius so this should be a cinch," Mulch said, strapping himself in.

"Now," said Artemis, staring around at the interior. "How do you start this thing?"

_**Underground**_

The sewers. The smell hit them like a gust of dwarf's wind. For people who don't know, that's pretty powerful. Murky grey water sloshed endlessly around them.

The troop of goblins had obviously become accustomed to the conditions. They were equipped with boots and helmets that blocked out the scent of rotting fish.

Root and Foaly were not so lucky. Foaly cringed every time his hoofs touched the liquid and wrinkled his nose. Root kept swearing in a low voice. Once or twice, his head struck some goop on the top of the sewer tunnel, causing his temper to go up a notch.

The goblins surrounding them added to the atmosphere. They glared and hissed, resisting the urge to attack the hated LEP members.

But they knew that the commander had been trained in combat, even if it was ages ago, another reason why they had manacled his hands together. They hadn't bothered with the centaur because they knew how hopeless he was in the current scenario.

After walking for what seemed like hours, they reached a tunnel that dropped vertically into the darkness. An unstable lift dangled on an iron rope. It looked as if it hadn't been used for millenniums.

Somehow the whole group managed to fit in. One goblin grabbed the rope and coaxed it to move the lift slowly and jerking.

Root found one part of the tunnel familiar and one item he noticed in particular triggered the truth.

_There was a hole bored into one of the columns. Mulch rubbed the edges fondly._

"_Diamond laser cutter. Little nuclear battery. That baby could cut through anything."_

"_I remember that cutter too," said Root. "You nearly decapitated me with that once."_

_Mulch sighed. "Happy days, eh, Julius?"_

_Root's reply was a swift kick in the behind. "Less talk, more eating dirt, convict."_

A little fear that had slipped into Root slipped back out as he calmed down. The diamond cutter was still there, that meant that they were under where Koboi Laboratory had once been. Where it had once stood, was now occupied by a popular pizza shop.

Root grinned, but it turned to a grunt as a goblin kicked him in the leg.

"This ain't meant t'be funny, elf," it growled, blinking it's scaly eyelids.

The rest of the journey down was uneventful, except for when one of the goblins got the hiccups and several of his peers, being stupid and not knowing what it was, sat on him to make him be quiet.

It also got a lot warmer and felt like they were nearing the Earth's core. Strange orange creatures darted amongst the pulsing orange cracks in the walls.

Finally, the lift stopped. Foaly had a cramp in his legs; he had never had to stand for so long in his life.

The ground was thick sediment of rock that gave a strange humming sound. The area was surrounded by various tunnels leading off in different directions.

Shadows were seen clearly in most and sparks flew out of one to the right.

Here, the group of goblins split up. Several went off into different tunnels but the others remained with Root and Foaly.

They led them to a tunnel.

_**Dark Tunnel **_

The entrance seemed light but darkness conquered it as they ventured further down the tunnel. The goblins were not very enthusiastic and a few started muttering about wanting their mummies.

At the end of the tunnel was a door, lit dimly. The cracks around pulsed an evil shade of purple.

Foaly whimpered and grabbed Root. Root pulled him off muttering "honestly."

The goblin that had had spoken in the Ops Booth whispered a strange word and the door hissed open, releasing a wave of grey mist.

Both centaur and elf were pushed, undesirably, into the room.

The goblins slammed the door shut and the sound of a lock was heard.

There was a brief moment of silence, only broken by the sound of Foaly's moaning and wavery breathing.

The mist cleared to reveal...

"What in the name of Frond...?" gasped the commander.

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**Author's Note:** (Dramatic Music) Sorry, I just had to leave it on a cliff-hanger!

I will try to write the next chapter as soon as possible.

**It will include:** Artemis driving his first car

More memories and

...a revealed enemy as well as...

Um, I'll stop now in case I give too much away.

Please read and review. I probably won't start a new chapter until I get 10 reviews, but I'll see how it goes.

Till next time- BYE!


	5. Black Magic

Author's Note: I've been sick for the last few days so I wasn't able to write much and I wanted to make the chapter a pretty good one. I've also just finished reading 'The Supernaturalist' and 'The Seventh Dwarf' which both rock. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

If you want me insert any old characters back into the plot or new stuff, you can suggest them and I'll think about it. Oh yeah, to jadestar123 I think Artemis if 15 in the EC, I'm not sure.

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own any of the Artemis Fowl characters, only Phel and Mucus.**

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**Chapter 5: Black Magic**

_**On road in Ireland**_

Artemis gripped the steering wheel tightly, a look of frustration on his face.

_Why didn't the cars move to let him through? How did you indicate you were turning? Why were there cameras next to the road? _

For once, he didn't have time to answer the flood of questions in his head. His attention was fully focused on the road. His hands trembled a lot, causing the car to jerk left. This was _not_ what geniuses were made to do. In the front passenger seat, Holly gripped the edges of her seat, the only way to stop her falling off the seat. She had tried to direct him in the right direct, but had given up after just five minutes. Mulch sat in the back seat, cursing the slow traffic and making rude gestures to the drivers who hogged all the lanes. He was also applying another layer of thick sunblock at the same time.

"This is so annoying! Why did you buy a fast car if we can't go fast?"

Either he didn't hear the dwarf or he just ignored him but Artemis did not reply. The traffic moved so slowly that a tortoise could have raced it and won. This was the problem when the holidays had just started.

After a while, Artemis Fowl had managed to find the basics of driving. They came to a halt at the traffic light. In other words, Artemis jammed his foot on the brake. Holly was winded by the sudden force and Mulch hit his head on the seat. Artemis took the chance to wipe the perspiration from his brow.

"This is most tiring," he moaned. "I don't see how most people make it seem so effortless."

"You're not doing too badly, Mud Boy," said Holly. She crossed her fingers behind her back.

"But what happens in the unlikely event of a police officer asking for my license on account of reckless driving?"

"Give them money. Isn't that what you're meant to do?" shrugged Holly.

"If you really don't want to drive, I--,"started Mulch.

"NO!" yelled Holly and Artemis at the same time.

"Sheesh. Did you really have to shout," grumbled Mulch.

"Are we meant to answer that question?" asked Holly.

The light turned green and they were on the move again, only to get stuck in another traffic jam. They all let out a simultaneous long sigh.

_**Secret Tunnel**_

The mist had cleared and standing in front of them was...-a dragon! It's sharp claws glistened as brightly as it's two ruby red eyes. It's hard, shiny scales were the colour of the darkest night. The most imposing thing was it's size. It was the biggest thing Foaly and Root had ever seen. It glared down at them imposingly. Only one thing kept it from attacking them. It was in a cube of crystallized rock.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

The voice echoed around the chamber, breaking the elf and centaur out of their trance. They looked up and saw an elf standing on a pile of stone tablets. He was wearing a cape and holding the commander's Tri-Blaster and looked strangely familiar.

"Cudgeon?" Foaly asked, confused.

"Guess again, centaur," came the amused reply.

"Um...Opal Koboi?"

"Do I look like a girl," snapped the figure. "No, I'm..."

He jumped off the pile and landed light-footedly next to them.

"You are Cudgeon. Liar!" said Foaly, disgruntled.

"For the last time, I am_ not _Cudgeon. I look like him because I'm his brother."

A memory flashed from the back of Root's mind. He had seen this elf at his and Cudgeon's graduation ceremony. He had been smiling and cheering for his brother. Now he was the opposite.

"I know about what you did to him a year ago," the elf continued. "You dishonoured him, deformed his face and because of you --"

The elf had let his cool composure slip and was now shaking with fury. He hefted the Tri-Blaster and pointed it dangerously at Root's head.

"It was his fault. He betrayed us during the Fowl Affair and went seeking revenge with help from goblins," pouted Root, his face turning red with rage.

The elf didn't lower the weapon. His eye twitched slightly.

_Whoa! This guy is unstable,_ thought Foaly.

The goblin that had spoken to them in the Ops Booth was suddenly at the elf's side. They hadn't noticed him come in. He was large for a goblin and had a ring through his right nostril.

"C'mon, Phel," he grunted. "You've got betta things t'do instead of taunting LEP members." He spat with disgust as he said the last words.

"You're right, Mucus," Phel sighed and handed him the blaster. "I've got a city to cause havoc in and then take over."

"Is that all you bad guys do?" asked Foaly.

No-one replied. Instead, Phel and Mucus took the liberty of tying their captives together and binding their mouths. They were then led to a small room that lead to one side of the main room.

"Soon the dragon will be able to roam the skies," said Phel wistfully. "It'll be able to wipe out the Council easily."

He laughed. "But you can have the honours of being it's first meal when I awaken it from it's long sleep."

He flicked his cape before he and Mucus went out, locking the door behind them. As they walked out of the main room, the key was tossed carelessly into the furnace.

_**Limerick**_

Butler burst through the doors of the shop marked "_Optical Illusions-Specialist in Lens & Glasses_". The shop was empty apart from a lady examining the stock. Butler frowned. Where was Padriac? Suddenly, there was a rustle and a man toppled out of the back room, his arms laden with boxes. One box sat precariously on the top.

"Um, do you want a hand?" asked Butler.

He easily took the pile of boxes from the man. The man's glasses slipped down his nose as he eyed Butler with surprise.

"Oh, it's you Butler," he replied, pushing his glasses back up.

His tangled brown hair stuck up at odd angles, making him look like a strange bug-eyed martian.

"Have you done that check on the lens like I asked you to, Padriac?" Butler set the boxes in the corner.

"If I say no, will you promise me you won't break my neck?"

Butler sighed and lifted Padriac off the ground. "I've been in Limerick long enough and I really should be getting back to Artemis. You guaranteed to me that you would've checked it by today."

Padriac trembled. "I-I've been busy. A new shipment just arrived and I've been unloading. If you really want, I can examine the lens today."

Butler nodded and let him go. "OK, but make it quick, I'm getting old here."

Padriac nodded and fumbled with a ring of keys in his pocket. He pulled one out and slipped it into the lock of a door marked '_Examining Room_'. The lock clicked and he opened the door. Butler slipped in after him, and shut the door.

_**Optical Illusions, Examining Room**_

There was only one word to describe the inside of the room. Chaotic. There was a single desk in the corner of the room that held various strange gadgets and equipment. The only light was provided by a flickering halogen globe on the ceiling. What looked like a chemistry set sat nearby, surrounded by many vials containing clear liquid.

Padriac scratched his head and looked around the room. "Now where did I put my examining kit?"

Butler rolled his eyes and picked up a silver case from the floor.

"O-oh, thanks," Padriac stuttered, entering in an access code.

He flipped the case's lid to reveal an assortment of hi-tech gadgets. He took a small lens from the set. He then took the glass from one eyepiece and attached on the device in it's place. Padriac fiddled with the lens, adjusting it and squinting through it.

"OK, I'm ready."

_**Lower Elements, Howlers' Peak**_

Opal Koboi sat in the cell, surrounded by goblins. The council had seen fit to put her in there due to the trouble she had caused in the last incident. She was quite used to them and they had accepted her in their "group". Currently, they were all crouched around the bench in the side of the cell, playing a game that required little brain. This was good, as _most_ of them only had that much or less.

"C'mon, roll!" hissed one of the goblins.

"Keep your skin on," she replied, calmly. The pixie rolled the dice. They landed on double six.

"You won again?" asked the goblin in surprise. "I bet you rigged it."

Opal sighed. "You think I would sink that low?"

The goblin never got to answer the question because the foundations that were underneath their feet suddenly rumbled and moved. The goblins just stood there blinking stupidly. Opal immediately crouched herself in a defensive stance. The door suddenly collapsed and a goblin and elf stepped into the cell.

"Mademoiselle," nodded Phel. "I am pleased to finally meet you."

"Cudgeon?" asked Opal.

"A common mistake. No, I'm his brother, Phel. I've come to free the goblins if they agree to help me progress to a higher status. I had my posse of already loyal goblins blast a hole in the building. They wanted us to free their brothers, so I complied."

"You knew I was in here. What do you want from me?"

"An informant said that you had more brains then the centaur so I want you to help me with my plans."

Opal thought about it for less then a second. A major part in the plot, freedom and maybe even power. What else could she ask for?

* * *

Phew! I managed to finish the chapter and slip Opal back into the story. I think I'm making the scenes a bit too short, I'll try to make them longer next time. I'm sorry if the chapter was a bit short, but I'll put much more in the next one, I promise!

Please R&R! Bye!


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